There are run-down parts of old Hollywood where the apartment buildings were put up when parking requirements were unknown. So most people park on the street, and it’s every man for himself. On this day I had to park a good block and a half from the rambling old faded blue and white building where I was to see Alan and Manuel.

Both of them were already clients, and I gathered from the file notes that one was much sicker than the other. It was Alan who answered the door. Small, wiry, a bit disheveled he nevertheless smiled brightly. It was a hot day, the apartment was cluttered and stuffy.

“I keep it warm ‘cause Manuel has chills.”

“How are you both?”

“I’m fine – most days. I get tired of course, but I have to keep Manuel’s strength up for the trip.”

“Trip?”

“Yeah. I’m taking him back home to San Francisco.”

“Really? Soon?”

“Sure. As soon as he’s a bit stronger. I don’t think we’ll need your service for much more than a week.”

We talked over their situation and I noticed from the file that Manuel’s symptoms were quite advanced.

“Come in and see him.”

Alan led me into the bedroom where Manuel lay, uncovered in the heat, despite his chills. I was taken aback. Very thin, gaunt even, skin gray and blotchy, he tossed on the bed, coughing now and then, only dimly aware that we had come in.

“It’s not a good day for him, but some days he feels a lot stronger. That’s why we’re going back up north. You’ll feel better there, eh kiddo?”

Manuel nodded slightly.

“We’re going to my sister’s. We’re both from there. Too damned hot down here.”

I touched Manuel goodbye and we went back into the living room, where I noticed in the corner a few cardboard boxes.

“Packing up, I see? Do you think he’ll be strong enough for the journey?”

I don’t know whether he knew the obvious answer to that, but if he did he wasn’t letting on – either to me or, perhaps, to himself.

“We’ve got it all worked out. And the doctor’s all for it.”

I doubted that. But I said we would send two meals every day and add weight-gain supplements to help out. We talked a little more about San Francisco, their life before they came south – before the problems began – and the life they were going back to. The idea hung loosely in the air that the problems would disappear when they returned north. He was utterly focused on the trip home.

I hugged him and made him promise he’d call me if he needed any more help from us. As I let myself out Alan hurried back into the bedroom.

Two days went by, filled with client visits, so that Manuel and Alan had faded from my mind. Then, during my morning desk work, the phone rang. Alan was almost hysterical, sobbing.

“Can you come over? I didn’t know who to call.”

“What’s up?”

“He’s gone. Last night. They just took him away. I’m all on my own.”

“I’ll be right over.”

Again the same parking nightmare. Two blocks to walk (run) this time. He opened the door and looked at me vacantly. He had stopped crying. He was not only empty of tears, he seemed – simply empty. I put my arm round his shoulder and led him to the couch. He talked quietly, reliving it

“He was dead.”

“When?”

“When I woke up.”

“In bed?”

“We went to bed together last night – as usual. He seemed to be doing better. For the first time I slept all night. And when I woke up this morning I turned over to hug him and….”

“Oh God.”

“He was so cold. I told him to wake up. I shook him but he was dead. I don’t know when he died. How long I was…..”

He started to cry again and I held him.

“We were leaving for San Francisco at the weekend. But now….”

“You know, Alan, I don’t think Manuel would have made it to San Francisco. And I think he knew that.”

“Maybe……”

“But you will.”

“Uh?”

“You’re still going aren’t you?”

“Well, my sister’s on her way down. I called her this morning. Says she’s going to take me back.”

“Good for her.”

“I called the paramedics and they took him, but I don’t know what…”

“You don’t have to work all that out for now.”

We sat there in silence. He stared straight ahead.

“He was so cold. It made me jump back. I mean, he liked to cuddle, but….”

“Shhh ……”

More silence. There was nothing to say. I didn’t know what to do except sit there with him. He must have been silently fixing the image that would haunt him for a lifetime. As the minutes went by I started to tune into his thoughts and began to imagine the horror of turning over to hug your…shhh. Mercifully the phone rang.

It was his sister calling from Burbank airport. She’d be there in about twenty minutes.
The news suddenly kick started him back to some semblance of life.

“Jesus, I’d better get packing. She wants us to leave right away. Oh, you’ll stop the food delivery?”

“Of course.”

“I’m sorry to have kept you so long. But I’m fine now. I’m fine.”

I got up and he took me to the door. I hugged him.

“The trip is what you need.”

“Yeah. We were both gonna go, you know. This weekend.”

“I know.”

He pulled back and gave me a crooked smile. “I guess he took a trip on his own.”

As I left the building the sun hit me in the face. It startled me somehow and I couldn’t clear my head. I walked along the street and suddenly realized I couldn’t remember where I had parked my car. I wandered for several crowded blocks, vaguely looking for my car, and came across it by chance.