It became almost a platitude that, while our focus was naturally on the person who was ill, we should not neglect the caregivers, and they should not neglect themselves. But that was easier said than done. While the suffering usually accept the attention directed toward them, the caregivers, as the donors of this kindness, tend to brush aside concerns for their own well-being. And where the caregiver is a relative or loved-one of the afflicted, the singular focus can become consuming, an obsession, a mantra.

But no matter how intense the need to care, the focus cannot always be singular. In the most cruel of circumstances it has to be divided.